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All week long on my blogI have been sharing some of the entries I wrote in our Caring Bridge journal from when he was ill. It heals me as I read and remember some of the sweeter, funnier times we had with Joey.

Despite the fact that he was so sick, there were still times of fog and humor.

It hurts me deeply to relive what he went though, what we all went through. To see the progression of the disease on his body, on his personality, on his spirit.

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Now the struggle is on to decide how we will remember Joey, how we chwrming teach our boys — who were six, four, and two when their brother died — to remember him; and especially how to tell Evan about the brother he never had the chance to meet.

That way, we can see his smiling face every day and remember the joy he brought to every situation.

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When the boys play with them, we talk about how much fun Joey had with them. We kept his cherished stuffed animals, Stripey Kitten and Spotty Frog, and Jack and I often fight over who gets to sleep with them.

Certain things always make me think of Joey — cats, turtles, the color green, Go Diego, Go, camouflage, pineapple, art supplies, being outdoors, fireworks, yellow cars. And when I think of Joey, I almost always say what I am thinking aloud to anyone who is near me. We are all dealing differently with this loss in our lives.

I cannot visit the cemetery, but I can look at pictures of Joey and write about him and talk about him. My husband is the opposite.

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He finds solace in visits to his grave, but finds it too painful to look at pictures or read what I write about Joey. Adam is the one I worry a lot about. He idolized his older brother. Adam talks openly about how much he misses Joey and how Looking for Omaha charming tired of kissing frogs wishes Joey could be here for certain events, like when he finally learned how to ride his bike without training wheels I insisted that Joey could see him, and was very proud.

He will cry at night sometimes, and at one point, put most of the framed pictures of Joey in his room. Colin, who was really too little to fully understand what happened, is slowly learning that Joey is not coming back. Evan is the hardest because he will only know Joey from what kkissing tell him.

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I have already started whispering to him about his brother Joey and how fun charmimg sweet he was. I have already begun telling him that he reminds me so much of Joey.

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We are honoring Joey in small ways, though. The fund receives donations of cash or gift cards to give to the families of pediatric cancer patients.

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They care for the entire family of their patients. We always felt like the others boys were made to feel special, too. They have their own Rainbow House- a large home away from home. Families may have a private room and a place to sleep when their child is Wife gone looking today or if they are coming for a medical froggs.

Child Life Specialists are on staff to provide individualized care, developmental assessments, and resources charmimg siblings, parents, peers and schools.

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There are even special trips and programs for charmijg and a team that offers palliative care end of life. Passing out the gift cards to the families is a win-win for everyone. And in the end, that is what matters. That is how we should remember him. With a smile on his face, a laugh on his lips, and doing something that makes others happy.

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If it could be that simple for the rest of us, the world would truly be a better place. If you would like to donate a gift card or money for a gift card to families in Nebraska battling cancer with their child, you can mail it to the following address: Kathy Glow is a wife and mom to four lively boys and one beautiful angel in Heaven, lost to cancer. Most days Looking for Omaha charming tired of kissing frogs can find her under a pile of laundry ordering take-out.

Her blog is at www. You can follow her on Facebook at Kissing Omana Frog. FeaturedInspirationJournalMotherhood.

Kathy Glow Kissing the Frog. Kathy Glow Kathy Glow is a wife and mom to four lively boys and one beautiful angel in Heaven, lost to cancer.

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